


Hope You'll Miss me, Wish You'd Kiss Me (Then You'd Know I Worship You)

by marigold_scented_candles



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, F/M, it's been 9 years pls let me go hetalia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 02:37:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20716712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marigold_scented_candles/pseuds/marigold_scented_candles
Summary: The summer air is oppressive, and so is the life of a spy. Both of them need an escape from that weight, if only for a night.





	Hope You'll Miss me, Wish You'd Kiss Me (Then You'd Know I Worship You)

**Author's Note:**

> Writing Hetalia smut in the year of our lord 2019? It's more likely than you think. 
> 
> Also @hetalia fucking let me go it's been 9 years I've done my time. 
> 
> I did a thing where Netherlands and Canada use code names for safety, so while Canada's name is Madeline in this AU, Netherlands calls her Jeannette.

Their dancing was languid as the humid summer air. Nothing like the fast moves she showed off at the clubs to entice officers into the alley to meet their ends. Lars's hand was heavy on her sweat-damp back and she could feel his breath just as heavy on her lips and-

" Why is it we always kiss when we're drunk?" Madeline wanted to joke that she'd kissed him when they were in danger too, but the moment felt so fragile, she didn't want to shatter it. Instead Madeline swallowed back the hesitance in her mind and pressed a lingering, chaste kiss on Lars's lips.

_ You don't even know his real name. Stop it._

" I'm not drunk right now" 

That opened the floodgates. Madeline was up against the wall, and Lars's hands were up her dress and lifting her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist. He didn't speak a single word, though his lips moved fervently against her neck, leaving a tingling trail of fire and hickeys. 

Again she wanted to joke. Anything to lift the heaviness of the unspoken unknowns. 

_ We don't know each other's names, we don't know each other's hometowns, we don't know if we’ll be scattered to the winds tomorrow, never to see or hear anything from each other ever again. _

To keep themselves and their families safe, yes of course, those things **had** to stay unknown. But still they tainted the air. But still she was pressed against that dingy wall, and still he kissed her and pressed her and held her. Madeline tilted her head back, small, embarrassing sounds coming unbidden from her. Her clothing was sticking against her in all sorts of odd places, and she wanted **out **of these stupid, sticky clothes. 

"Jeanette" Lars's breath fluttered against her neck, cool, but only in comparison to her overheated skin. 

"Hm?" Madeline 's tongue felt like molasses, sweet and slow and utterly decadent. 

"Hold on tighter. I think dropping you would ruin the mood" 

"How chivalrous" Madeline teased, wrapping her arms around Lars's neck. Perhaps the moment wasn't so fragile after all. 

"God forbid I'm not an asshole" Lars grunted, pressing a few more rough kisses to Madeline's lips as he moved them to the bedroom. The Evening breeze made the curtains flutter , and her flesh prickle with goosebumps and anticipation. She'd never gotten her clothing off so fast in her life. 

Lars dug into her with a desperation she'd never felt from him, but had always seen blazing behind his eyes whenever they had a close call. Something in Madeline broke. Everything was so goddamn heavy, and she just wanted, (needed) a moment to ignore it (it couldn't be truly gone, no). She responded with the same desperation squeezing and kissing and caressing whatever she could reach. 

Madeline only had the presences of mind to muffle her sounds in Lars's thin pillow, or into the crook of Lars's neck, or her hands, or whichever part of the room they decided to fuck each other into. It wasn't until dawn started to creep into the room that they wound down, panting hard and limp on the bed. 

Her whole body ached with exhaustion. Not since she'd had to plow whole fields by hand had her bones begged for rest like this. All too soon, Lars's weight left the bed, and his footsteps faded from the room. Madeline closed her eyes. Oh well. It was a bit hot for sleeping right on top of someone anyways. 

She jolted at the damp cloth running over her body. The cloth was probably lukewarm in reality, but against her flushed skin it felt just like ice. Her hand seemed to move on it's own to swat at Lars cleaning between her thighs. 

" You'll thank me later" ... The bed dipped with Lars's weight, and his hand once again rested heavy on the small of her back, tracing the scar just above her hip there. 

"How'd this happen?" Madeline opened her eyes, blinking blearily. 

"Army... Got shot by an enemy sniper hoping to draw out medics. It didn't work but... Well, I wasn't awake to bribe the field hospital staff into ignoring that I was a girl." _Madeline you fool. You keep everything a secret to keep yourself safe! _

Lars idly twirled her hair around his finger tips, pulling it just a little, probably not even on purpose. A ghost of the way he'd buried his hands in it earlier and refused to let go. 

" Being a spy not macho enough for you?" Madeline closed her eyes again.

_ Heavy heavy heavy _

"In the army you know people's names." _ heavy heavy heavy . _But perhaps just a little bit less than before? That had to be the afterglow talking. 

" This is lonely work, I'll give you that... But I've always enjoyed lonely work" Lars's breathing was deep and steady against her ear for a long time. The church bells chimed 7AM. 

"What are you worrying about? " Madeline screwed her eyes shut. She didn't want to talk. She wanted to either sleep, or fuck him senseless. She hadn't decided which just yet. 

_ heavy heavy heavy _

"I'm not" 

"You are. You're drumming your fingers. It's one of your tells" Apparently, Lars paid more attention to her than she thought. 

"I'm not worried. Just thinking about how strange being lonely is for me" 

"Strange?"

" I wasn't even alone in the womb. That's why I enlisted in the army. I knew I wouldn't be able to stand being a whole ocean away from Al. He attracts trouble. I had to be there to bail him out, y'know?" And now there wasn't enough rage at him for turning her over to the medics to keep her from missing him. 

_ heavy heavy heavy . _Now she just wanted to cry, thinking about how Al didn't know where she was, and probably assumed she was too angry at him to write him back, and what if he never _ got _ to hear back? 

" Mmm. Siblings are always trouble magnets" 

"You have siblings?" 

"Baby brother and sister" Where were they now? Lars wasn't talking like they were dead at least. But they were probably far away. For their own safety. They'd cut themselves off, like pruning a tree. Hopefully They'd be able to graft themselves back on, but what guarantee was there of that? 

_ heavy heavy heavy _

Her body and bones begged for rest, but Madeline surged up to kiss Lars again. Lars kissed her back, though not nearly as fiercely. His hands were gentle, almost infuriatingly so. Soothing over the scar above her hip, over her shoulder blades, ghosting over the nape of her neck and cupping her cheek. He was so gentle as their kiss tapered off, and it made her want to scream, because she couldn't stop seeing tenderness in his eyes. 

_ Oh Maddie, you sweet little fool _

"You should sleep Jeanette. We've got work tonight." Madeline nodded. It was easy enough work. Go to a club, find an officer, see if she could get him to blab, and then gut him like a fish. She needed to be sharp. She was so tired...

<strike> _ This would all be over when she woke up, and she didn't want it to be over. _ </strike>


End file.
